If there is one thing you should know about me, it's that I have always loved stories.
Long before I became a writer, before I became a mom, and before life became as complicated as it sometimes is, I was a reader.
Books have been my constant companions for as long as I can remember.
They've helped me escape when reality felt overwhelming. They've comforted me during difficult seasons. They've made me laugh, cry, hope, dream, and sometimes stay awake far later than I should have because I just had to know what happened next.
Stories have a way of finding us when we need them most.
Some books taught me courage. Some taught me compassion. Some reminded me that even broken people deserve happy endings. Others simply gave me a safe place to exist when the world felt too loud.
I don't know what your relationship with books will be when you read this. Maybe you'll be an avid reader. Maybe you'll only pick up a book once in a while. Maybe you'll prefer movies, music, or something else entirely.
Whatever the case, I hope you always find something that makes you feel the way books have made me feel.
Seen.
Understood.
Less alone.
Because that's the magic of stories. They remind us that someone, somewhere, has felt what we're feeling.
And sometimes that's enough to help us keep going.
There have been times in my life when books were one of the only things that helped me make sense of my feelings. When I couldn't find the words myself, I found them in someone else's story.
Sometimes that's exactly what we need.
One of my favorite memories is watching you discover the things that made you excited.
Whether it was a hobby, a show, a game, a friend, or something completely unexpected, there was always something special about seeing your face light up when you found something you loved.
I hope you never lose that excitement.
The world has a way of trying to convince us to grow out of the things that bring us joy.
Don't let it.
This week's book recommendation is Reminders of Him by Colleen Hoover.
The first time I read it was around May or June of 2021, not long after you decided you no longer wanted to see me.
To this day, I don't fully understand that decision. I know what I was told, but I still don't understand exactly how we ended up where we did.
What I do know is that this book shattered me.
Not because our stories were the same, but because I understood some of Kenna's pain. I understood what it felt like to love someone deeply and ache for the chance to be part of their life again.
By that point, I had spent nearly fourteen years being your mom every single day. My life revolved around you and Aiden. Every decision, every plan, every dream included the two of you.
Then suddenly, everything changed.
Just as we were still trying to navigate life after losing Louie, then our family had to navigate life after losing you from our everyday world as well.
And even now, years later, there are still moments when the ache catches me by surprise.
There are nights when I lie awake thinking about you.
Wondering how you're doing.
Praying that you're safe.
Praying that you're happy.
Praying that you're loved.
And hoping that one day I'll get to hug you again, sit across from you, hear your voice, and simply spend time with you.
Because at the end of the day, that's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently today is one of the harder days, because I've cried my way through most of this letter.
But maybe that's okay.
Maybe that's what these letters are for.
To tell the truth.
And the truth is that I love you.
I always have.
I always will.
Until next week,
Love always,
Mom
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